Lillium
by pikatru
Summary: Many people are afraid of death but no one ever asks how does death feel? Elliot is a grim reaper who wishes to become human. Today, he's supposed to collect a man's soul who will commit suicide. In the process of collecting his soul, something strange happens and he ends up getting what he wished for after all ...
1. Chapter 1

_**Chapter 1**_

Aeschylus once said "There's nothing certain in a person's life except this: That they must lose it." You see, I've had many names, angel of death, god of death, but the most popular name seems to be The Grim Reaper. Instead, you may call me Elliot. My full name is Elliot Anthony Darwin. I have lived long enough to realize how much of a waste humans have made of this world and themselves. Many people are afraid of death but no one ever asks how does death feel?

Let's see … Where do I begin? Ah! I've got it! David Smith, born May 5, 1863, Age 20. David is scheduled to die by jumping off a 5 story building as a suicide attempt. Today will be his last day, or so I thought. My job as a Grim Reaper is to review lists of individuals about to die and collect requested souls. The list is given to me every year with an individual's name, birth date, and cause of death. We collect souls by using our death scythes. Each Grim Reaper's Death Scythe seems to be unique to each individual. Mines happens to be a dual scythe. A Grim Reaper uses a Death Scythe to view an individual's Cinematic Record. What's a Cinematic Record you may ask? A Cinematic Record is a document of an individual's life memories. The idea of a human is broken into two: a flesh body and a soul. When combined, the individual can exist among the living, and thus the initiation of their Cinematic Record. When the flesh body withers, and the Grim Reapers collect their souls, the record ends there, and the living become the dead. The "end mark" of the Cinematic Record arrives along with every death. Humans can only view their cinematic records during their deaths. This appears as if their "life was flashing before their eyes."

Anyways, Enough about the old boring history of Grim Reapers, let's get back to David. There he was standing on the ledge of the building, looking down at the street below him. The wind fluttered through his golden blonde hair. His cloudy gray eyes appeared red, swollen, and exhausted. Most likely from crying.

"I'm gonna do it, It'll be over soon. No one will need me." said David. He kept repeating the phrase as if he was having second thoughts about jumping but was convincing himself to achieve his goal. His left foot was dangling over the edge. Looking down, he balled up his fists, closed his eyes and jumped.

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**Authors note: **Hey there pals! This is my first fic that was based on a short story I wrote for English class last year. Basically this story revolves around Elliot but he's definitely going to bump into some characters along the way *hint hint* I know it was pretty short but next chapter should be much longer(I hope!) Let me know what you think and suggestions are very much appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: In no way, shape or form do I own Kuroshitsuji. All rights go to Yana Toboso.**

**A/N: **Just letting you guys know that the italicized parts are Elliot's thoughts.**  
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_Chapter 2_

You know, I never really understood why humans take their lives or waste the remainder of it doing useless things. If I were human, I'd live it to the fullest . To experience life instead of taking it, now that would be quite a change in this boring old routine.

_ No, That would be wrong. Being a part of the Dispatch Division is a very honorable occupation that any grim reaper would be lucky to ave. I should definitely be grateful but something inside me feels like … like I need more._

As I stepped towards David's body, I couldn't help but feel envy at the young man. He had what I wanted and just threw it away like it was nothing. The whole place looked like a crime scene, his legs were twisted outward and his blood oozed out from his nose. There was so much blood. I lifted up my death scythe ready to give the final blow but as I stabbed downward into his body, David grabbed my ankle. Well, more like clutched. I suddenly felt this huge burst of energy and I blacked out after that.

I awoke to the sound of soft beeping. I was in a plain, bright, white room with one chair on my right from the bed.

_Wait … Bed? Where am I?_

I had these strange things attached to my arm that appeared to have needles inside them: they were attached to a bag on a long silver pole. I ripped them off ignoring the pain, and jumped out of bed where just a few seconds ago I was laying in. Although I felt slightly dizzy and weak, I managed to make it to the porcelain sink. I splashed water on my face and saw my hands. My light caramel colored skin was now a milky white. I looked up at the mirror and was surprised to see that the reflection I was looking at wasn't exactly me but David. I pulled on my once light brown hair and my newly gray eyes which had replaced my bright yellow-green ones. My eyes had widened and the beeping noise was much faster now.

_What the hell is going on?! What happen-_

"Glad to see you're awake Mr. Smith" said a voice behind me.

I quickly turned around and I saw a woman who appeared to be in her mid twenties. Seeing the panic on my face she gave out a small laugh.

The woman Dr. Dalles, she called herself said "No need to be afraid, I'm your doctor. Please stay in bed. We have much to discuss."

I walked towards my bed and laid down. Dr Dalles was quite and interesting character. She had bright crimson red hair with v-shaped bangs, her eye color matched her hair, and she wore bright red lipstick as well. Her smile looked like it could brighten anyone's day. She had decided to bombard me with questions as well. "How do you feel?"

"Like I'm a whole different person."

_Literally_

"I see. Do you remember what happened?"

Scrunching his eyebrows together in confusion, Elliot responded "Not really"

"Apparently you attempted suicide and you were rushed her to the Royal London Hospital. You got some pretty bad injuries. We did the best we could to help but the pain seemed like it was too much for you to handle so you passed out and stayed like that for a good two weeks." She sighed before she continued, "Usually these cases have fatal results but you miraculously survived."

_ Taking in all this new information was very overwhelming. I was just doing my job. I was just collecting a troubled soul. That's was it, or … was it fate?_

"Mr. Smith? Are you alright?" A concerned look had appeared on her face

"Uh … y-yeah. Sorry." I said sheepishly averting my gaze.

Dr. Dalles gave a small smile "it seems you're recovering quite well. You should be able to go home his afternoon."

_Home. Where exactly is home?_ "Um Dr. Dalles?"

"Yes?"

"I don't exactly remember where I live ..."

She gave out a light chuckle "Don't worry, I set up a carriage to take you home." before she left me to change she said " I feel that you survived for a reason. I too know what it's like to lose everything. I just hope one day you wake up and be glad that you're alive" and with that she was gone.

The ride home was quite bumpy. The carriage pulled up in front of a brown dilapidated townhouse. The street surrounding the home wasn't that great either. I walked up n the three little steps towards the home and reached for the cobwebbed covered door. _Locked. _Reaching into my pant pockets I search but to no avail. I check my outer coat pockets. _Nothing but lint here._

As if an imaginary light bulb went off above my head,

_The doormat!_

Finally being able to unlock the door, I entered the lonely town home. It was rather quiet and mostly empty. The paint on the walls were chipping off and the once white paint had turned into a brownish yellow color. The floorboards creaked with each step I took. The home resembles something like a haunted house with cobwebs and dust bunnies everywhere. There were stairways by the front door that led to the upstairs bedroom.

His bedroom had a very different atmosphere to it. It appeared that this room was the only room in the house to be well kept. The walls were painted a light Grey with white flowy curtains covering the windows. His bed, more like a cot, was overall plain compared to the neatly cozy room. There was a dark mahogany wardrobe that contained only a handful of clothing and across from the wardrobe was a small writing desk. Nothing was on top of it surprisingly but what really caught my eye was what was in the third drawer on the left. A diary was neatly placed under a pile of crumpled papers. _Maybe he was trying to hide it. _I set the diary on tip of the desk and looked at it for a long time. Placing my elbows on the desk with my head resting above my folded hands, I looked outside the window towards the broken down street.

This was his personal thoughts and feelings. _Who was I to invade his privacy? _Then again, my job was to review cinematic records and judge them. I would know every single detail about a persons life just by viewing their cinematic record.

Giving out a rather loud and long sigh, I opened it. "Well David, lets see what you're really like ..."

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**Author's Note:** Alright! Finally chapter two. It's a lot longer than chapter one so I hope It meets your expectations. Did you see what I did there when I revealed who his doctor was, huh? Also, I'd like to use this space to ask you, the readers, if you have any suggestions as to future elements of the plot. I somewhat have the story mapped out but I'm having a hard time filling in the details.

-PikaTru


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